Surprise Pregnancy

Here I am, 36 weeks and ready to pop my belly anytime now! And of course, I'm ready to share about my pregnancy in my blog.

I call it as a surprise pregnancy! We didn't expect I was pregnant until that one morning, I needed to check my UPT. To emphasize again, NEEDED. Yes. I wanted to consume a supplement that I've been consuming before I got married which is Aurawhite. As I remember, the last time I consumed the supplement, my period and everything was just nice as it was until I stopped. Why? I was still a student maaa.. No fixed money to keep on buying and drinking a costly supplement especially when I needed the money the most for my final year projects. 

Well back to the story, as I got married, my period became irregular again. So yeah, the chance to get pregnant was getting a bit hard for us. That was the main reason why I wanted to start drinking the supplement again. However, one must be not pregnant to consume the supplement. The main reason why I needed to check my so called pregnancy status. 

That morning, my husband and I planned to do quite a lot of errands. It's hard to get my husband to be free on the weekdays because of his work. Got up early for subuh, and straight away to the bathroom with one little stick I had left to keep on checking my UPT. I barely could even open my eyes. Well, did everything, you know those blablabla and waited for anything to appear. While waiting, I was even closing my eyes. The moment I opened my eyes I was like "eh?" Jolted a bit for sure! 

As fast as I could, showed the stick that I just peed on to my husband (euwww gross i know!) and he was like taking a moment to take a deep breathe before thinking what is going on. He asked me what does that mean. Well he knew, he just needed someone to make things clear for him. I said two lines means pregnant! "Am i pregnant now?" I asked him. And we were both just bewildered of what just happened. 

okay. yes i know. euwww. but here's the surprise!

And my husband said, get ready and (nope we werent going to the doctor yet) and get everything done by today. Everything as in everything we planned, exclude the surprise pregnancy. By 10am, we were done renewing our passports, and I asked him how now brown cow. For sure he said the stick was at faulty because I kept it in my closet for months. So he suggested us to buy another stick, which was more expensive and accurate and we bought the Clear Blue UPT. Headed straight home, i quickly check again, and it was a positive sign again! 

second one. and it was a bit blurry so we werent for sure what it was

Then I told my mom. Gave her the pictures of those two sticks and my mom told us to go and check with a doctor. I googled for any female ob/gyn in Seremban that moment my husband said, let us check with a doctor! 

So we went for Dr Rekha's clinic. And oh yeah, it took less than 5 minutes for her to stick that thing in (we did a transvaginal ultrasound) to know that I was positively pregnant! Before, she asked about my last period and everything and since I had irregular periods, she had to do the transvaginal ultrasound for a clear view in my womb. We waited for the doctor for more than 10 minutes and it felt like ages, of course because we were so eager to know! And there you go, we saw our little peanuts inside me. My husband who was sitting down stood up the moment the doctor said "Here's your baby!" Haha

oh hello there lil one :)

Right after that, we started to think for where to deliver and continue my monthly check up. I've ready before about Dr Intan from Columbia Asia Seremban and we went there to book an appointment with her. It's the week after! 

Xoxo

Jealousy

Tipulah kalau tak cemburu...

Sekurang-kurangnya if masa ada rasa cemburu, rasa sayang tu masih wujud lagi ye dak?

Kalau dah immune sangat, cemburu pun tidak, dah tahap kritikal tu.

At first, memang dah macam rasa immune. Tapi entah nape tiba-tiba leh rasa cemburu pulak. 

Mungkin sebab selama ni tak tau si dia yang bagi. Dan selama ini jugak lah si pemakai masih memakai pemberian si dia tanpa pengetahuan si cemburu...

Kalau selama ni borak kosong, borak biasa, tersebut nama si dia ni, nak cemburu pun rasa dah tak cemburu dah. Sebab entah lah, nak kata dah tak sayang, mungkin masih ada sekelumit rasa sayang, sikit tu pun janji adalah kan... 

Tapi entah nape, tiba2 hari ni rasa cemburu tu tiba2 datang. Mungkinkah sebab semalam over stressed? Sensitif yang semalam tak habis lagi kot... Tu yang tiba2 hari ni rasa cemburu tu datang, dengan rasa nak nangis...

Ya, iols ni jenis yang memendam rasa. Selalu sangat si dia bising kat aku, apa2 jadi, cuba jangan pendam, luahkan. Kalau tak, takde communication. Tapi apakan daya, memang inilah sifat aku dari azalinya. Memendam. Biarlah apa yang aku pendam itu sakit hati, terasa hati, terkilan hati, semuanya aku pendam. So bila dah pendam2, at one point, memang akan meletup jugak. Pastu bila dah meletup tu, semua benda tak kena. Bila kenang sikit, bercucuran air mata bagai. Itulah aku. Pastu bila dah aku ni jenis memendam rasa, aku mesti akan buat benda yang bukan2. Pastu bila aku dah reda balik, aku tak pernah menyesal buat apa yg aku rasa ridiculous tu. Keras tak kerasnya hati aku. Grrrrr

Ahhhhh.. Sampai sini jelah apa yg aku nak luahkan publicly... Walaupun dalam hati dan perasaan ni masih ada yang tak sudah lagi, mungkin aku akan buat post dlm draft je dulu. At least terluah jugak lah kot even dalam dunia maya ni.

Jodoh

Apa itu jodoh? Percayakah kita dengan jodoh Allah? Mana datangnya jodoh kita? Bilakah kita akan bertemu dengan jodoh kita? Betul ke wujudnya jodoh? 

Bagi yang belum bernikah, mungkin itulah persoalan yang sering bermain di fikiran dah hati masing-masing terutamanya apabila usia semakin tua. Jodoh itu pasti, dik. Jodoh itu telah tertulis untuk sekalian umat manusia semenjak dari Luh Mahfuz lagi. Semasa kita masih dalam rahim ibu kita lagi Allah dah tuliskan siapakah jodoh kita. Yang lelaki, jodohnya adalah daripada tulang rusuk kirinya. Yang perempuan, carilah kamu itu empunya tulang rusuk siapakah. Jodoh sudah semestinya datang daripada Allah. Percaya kepada qada dan qadar Allah, maka percayalah jodoh kita itu pasti. Cuma cepat atau lambat sahaja. 

Itu persoalan dan jawapan bagi yang belum berkahwin. Bagaimanakah mereka yang sudah berkahwin? Masih percayakah mereka pada jodoh? Tambahan lagi, mereka sudah berkahwin. Percayakah mereka pasangan mereka itulah jodoh mereka dunia dan akhirat? Panjang atau pendek kah usia jodoh mereka? Sampai bila mereka masih ada jodoh untuk bersama? 

Asam garam perkahwinan, bergaduh itu perkara biasa. Tapi tak bermaksud pasangan kita itu bukan jodoh kita. Bukankah marah itu tanda sayang? Gaduh itu pun gaduh manja je. Tapi, bagaimanakah nasib mereka yang berkahwin tanpa perasaan cinta? Adakah pasangan mereka itu jodoh mereka? Ataupun mereka masih bersama hanya kerana anak-anak? Tidak ingin anak menjadi mangsa, ada sesetengah pasangan masih bersama walaupun hanya untuk nampak bahagia di hadapan anak-anak, dan bukannya bahagia sebenar-benarnya bahagia. Terfikirkah mereka, sampai bila mereka mampu mempertahankan masjid yang dibina yang kian menjadi rapuh itu? 

Selalu kita dengar, pasangan yang bercinta bertahun-tahun yang akhirnya putus ditengah jalan. Keluarlah istilah 'tiada jodoh'. 

Selalu kita dengar, pasangan yang baru sahaja kenal, tiba-tiba terus bernikah. Maka itulah yang dikatakan 'jodoh itu kuat'.

Selalu kita dengar, pasangan yang akhirnya bernikah, tetapi bercerai tidak lama kemudian. Itu pulak dikatakan 'jodoh pendek'.

Selalu kita dengar, pasangan yang sudah lama bernikah, walaupun tiada persefahaman, tapi masih jugak bersama. Itu pulak dikatakan sebagai 'jodoh masih panjang dan kuat'.

Istilah jodoh ini bermacam-macam kalau nak diikutkan. Setiap individu, setiap pasangan, lain definisi mereka tentang jodoh. Lain situasi, lain pulak istilah jodoh ini. Semuanya terpulang kepada masing-masing.

Begitu jugak dengan pasangan yang dah berkahwin. Terpulang dengan pasangan tersebut samaada ingin meneruskan perkahwinan walau tanpa cinta. Terpulang dengan pasangan tersebut jikalau ingin menamatkan sahaja bahtera perkahwinan yang dilayari bertahun-tahun lamanya. 

Apa yang saya luahkan disini tentang jodoh, hanyalah pendapat saya sahaja. Mohon tiada pihak yang terasa hati dengan post saya kali ini. 

WAllahualam...

Newbie Not So Newbie

Hello again bloggers!

Why is it a 'hello again'? Definitely because I used to have a blog which I literally have forgotten the password and such. 

Why am I blogging again? Well, since I got married 11 months ago, things have changed totally! From a student, to a wife, and now a mother to be in less than a month. May Allah ease my journey to become a real mother soon. Ameen. As I said, things have changed. Ever since I've become a wife, I got quite a lot of spare time especially during my rest from doing chores (macam lah banyak sangat chores aku ni. Lol), I started to visit a few people's blogs. It all happened when I googled something, and ended up reading someone's blog. From someone's blog to another someone's blog. After months of reading and googling, then out of the blue, tonight I made another new blog. 

Adamali.

The names of my heart and my soul. 

Adam, in shaa Allah will be the name of the life I bear in my womb for the last 9 months. Adam, my future little imam. Adam, my future little caliph.

Ali, he is my imam. Ali, he is my heart. Ali, he is my soul. Ali, he is the father to the life in my womb.